Ethics & Conduct Begin With Parents

Our children are either taught ethics and proper conduct or they aren’t.

The magic formula for this must come from parents who are united philosophically, pragmatically, and enforce what they value.

I have always loved sports and kids. As such, years ago I decided to officiate a number of youth sports.

Recently I was a referee for seventh grade girls and boys basketball games. The gymnasium was packed with parents and grandparents vocally supporting their kids.

It is always our expectation to officiate fairly, impartially, and show respect for all parties. The stage was set for an evening of ethics and proper conduct.

Within a few minutes of the first game starting both coaches from one team became animated, waving their arms, and started complaining about certain calls being made or being missed. My partner and I heard them out, asked them to stay in their designated bench area, and issued a verbal warning.

Unfortunately, their actions revved up the parents setting the stage for poor ethics and improper conduct.

What happened next? A parent stood up in the stands and shouted out, “It’s your job to make the right calls…you have to make that call and protect our kids.”

My partner who was closest to this parent asked him to leave the gym and assessed a technical foul to the home team. After years of officiating youth events, I have never seen a parent asked to leave an event. It was a sad moment to say the least.

What must we do as parents, teachers, coaches, and leaders moving forward?

1) Respect, consideration, and courtesy is the foundation for conduct.

2) Ethics is most effective when there is a culture of accountability and enforcement.

3) Parents must understand that athletics is not about them, their feelings, or their former memories. It is about encouraging kids to have fun and learn to play a team sport the right way.

We can do better than this and must set the right tone and values for our kids. Otherwise, we are encouraging them to take matters into their own hands without repercussion or penalty.

My friends please remember this: respect, consideration, and courtesy matter a lot. Treat others fairly, decently, and equally.

Build your moral compasses carefully and always monitor them daily.

You know the battle cry: do your best each day. No one can ask more or less from any of us.

All the best/blessings, Mark

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